I worked for ten years in a telecom multinational. I traveled around the world for workshops, meetings and training and made enough money to buy a house in my home country. When I had a baby I gave up my job and stayed at home to be a mother. My priorities had changed and I felt I had to devote myself to being a mother.
My role as a mother has been more rewarding and far reaching than my job could ever be when I consider that the way I look after my son will affect the kind of person he grows up to be. As an adult he will affect the lives of so many people around him. It’s like a chain effect and the starting point is a mother.
Despite that sometimes I miss the fact that I no longer make money. I feel like I may not be living up to my full potential if I cannot generate an income. What use are my PMP and Six Sigma Black belt and all my experience if I cannot even land a dime.
Actually I did land a dime recently. I did some market surveys online and when I got paid for it I felt I had accomplished something even though it wasn’t even enough to have a decent meal for two. I have even looked for opportunities to work online from home but haven’t really found something interesting.
I don’t want to go back to a full time job because I don’t want to neglect my son. Being there for my son is my number one priority. There is no doubt about it.
But why do I have this feeling of inadequacy? And what would I do with the money even if I was making it? Just pay a part of it to charity and put the rest in the bank. Why would that give me satisfaction? I don’t even understand it myself. Is there something about making money that is addictive? Would it satisfy my ego?
What do you think?
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