Reliving the Past

The other day my mother who has been staying with me for the last 4 months told me that she won’t be able to visit again as she has become too old.

On this visit it’s the first time I felt that my mother really has started looking old and it scares me a bit. How many years has she left with us I wonder? Don’t get me wrong, her health is excellent and apart from some pains and aches she doesn’t have any problems. But when one keeps losing relatives of her age or younger, one can’t help but wonder.

My mother had her children after 16 years of marriage. I think we have kept her young. Nobody could tell the age difference of almost a generation gap between us. She used to keep herself busy, cooking and painting and meeting her friends. But after my father died she stopped doing all these things. She even stopped wearing bangles and it looked strange to see her empty wrists.

And somewhere along the way negativity crept into her life. I have noticed that a lot. If I talk to her about some new project of mine, she always points out the negative factors rather than encourage me to go ahead with it.

Will a pep talk help her? I don’t think so. What really does help her is to involve her in everything I do. My writing, my book readings, my art projects. Creativity dampens negativity. I really believe that.

And so I have started a new project with her. I let her talk about old times from her childhood, her marriage, being an army wife and a mother and I write it all down. When we have enough I’ll compile it and it will be something that her grandchildren who never got to meet their grandfather can read. I have noticed that when she talks about those golden days of her life her eyes light up and her voice is full of enthusiasm. I find no negativity there.

This is my pep talk for her. She talks and I write.

Daily Prompt: Pep Rally

  1. Let there be light | Nature Activities
  2. Die Trying | The Magic Black Book
  3. Sunset | Bright Moments Catcher
  4. Icicles on the house | Bright Moments Catcher
  5. Photo within a photo | Bright Moments Catcher
  6. Excellence is a Habit that Success Depends Upon | The PASSION PRESS™
  7. Afternoon sky | Nature Activities
  8. Requiem For Joe Southwick’s College Career? | The Jittery Goat
  9. Trees in sunlight | Tess Arts
  10. December | Tess Arts
  11. Daily Prompt: Pep Rally | My Atheist Blog
  12. Pep Talk | Motherhood and Beyond
  13. Daily Prompt: Pep Rally | Under the Monkey Tree
  14. I can see your dream turning into reality | મન ની વાત
  15. CHEERS to a Good Morning | It’s a wonderful F’N life
  16. Daily Prompt: Pep Rally | Musical Foodie Love
  17. Pep It Up! | Misifusa’s Blog
  18. Crowd Surf This Guy [Daily Prompt: Pep Rally] | unknowinglee
  19. The Little Things – Daily Prompt: Pep Rally | smoke&mirrors
  20. 207. Life Well Lived | Barely Right of Center
  21. Hey Jules | Neva Samaki
  22. Daily Prompt: CHEER | veryvanessalynn
  23. Pocketful of Sunshine | The Otter in my Jotter
  24. Tony’s Texts
  25. Daily Prompt: Pep Rally | Awl and Scribe
  26. Now go out there and DO IT big guy! | thoughtsofrkh
  27. Pep Talk for Tough Choices | Reinvention of Mama
  28. Daily post: Pep talk to politicians everywhere | helen meikle’s scribblefest
  29. Bring On The Clowns | Just Visiting This Planet
  30. Dear Ruby, ( My Sociopath Ex-Boss) | sayanything
  31. If The Eucalyptus Survived…. | Not the Family Business!
  32. Cheer- Daily Prompt | The Rider
  33. Gentle Exercise for Better Health | Kansa Muse
  34. Daily Prompt: Pep Rally | reyoflight
  35. Daily Prompt: Pep Rally | SERENDIPITY
  36. New post Daily Prompt: Pep Rally | Welcome to msxhan. The great tricks, tips, infos, poetry and much more.
  37. Daily Prompt: Pep Rally | robbiesdailyplanet
  38. Daily Prompt: Pep Rally | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss
  39. Father to Son | Real Life Co.
  40. Willpower is not an energy drink | MC’s Whispers
  41. Daily Prompt: Pep Rally | The Story of a Guy
  42. to travel and beyond
  43. Give Pep Talk to youself | crookedeyebrows
  44. Pep Rally | The Nameless One
  45. The Pep Talk We Need | Flowers and Breezes
  46. The Conundrum | Dog Pep
  47. Dear Angela, Dear Barak, | Life is great
  48. Pep Rally | Momma Said There’d Be Days Like This
  49. Processing the life
  50. Pep Talk | Processing the life
  51. Pep Rally: Cheers | Khana’s Web
  52. BE LIKE A CLOUD | hastywords
  53. Smile! | CurTales
  54. Daily Prompt: Pep Rally | Randomize ME
  55. Unpepped… | alienorajt
  56. alienorajt
  57. Northern Cardinal (Cheer) | photo potpourri
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Dollars, Dirhams & Pounds

I worked for ten years in a telecom multinational. I traveled around the world for workshops, meetings and training and made enough money to buy a house in my home country. When I had a baby I gave up my job and stayed at home to be a mother. My priorities had changed and I felt I had to devote myself to being a mother.

My role as a mother has been more rewarding and far reaching than my job could ever be when I consider that the way I look after my son will affect the kind of person he grows up to be. As an adult he will affect the lives of so many people around him. It’s like a chain effect and the starting point is a mother.

Despite that sometimes I miss the fact that I no longer make money. I feel like I may not be living up to my full potential if I cannot generate an income. What use are my PMP and Six Sigma Black belt and all my experience if I cannot even land a dime.

Actually I did land a dime recently. I did some market surveys online and when I got paid for it I felt I had accomplished something even though it wasn’t even enough to have a decent meal for two.  I have even looked for opportunities to work online from home but haven’t really found something interesting.

I don’t want to go back to a full time job because I don’t want to neglect my son. Being there for my son is my number one priority. There is no doubt about it.

But why do I have this feeling of inadequacy? And what would I do with the money even if I was making it? Just pay a part of it to charity and put the rest in the bank. Why would that give me satisfaction? I don’t even understand it myself. Is there something about making money that is addictive? Would it satisfy my ego?

What do you think?

Daily Prompt: Can’t Get Enough

  1. Girl Taking Photo of Herself Through a Mirror « Inside my glitching mind
  2. Addicted… | The Rider
  3. addiction | hitting a brick wall
  4. Daily Prompt: Can’t Get Enough When I’m With You | Awl and Scribe
  5. Daily Propmt: Can’t Get Enough | Under the Monkey Tree
  6. Can’t Get Enough – FM Addiction | Geek Ergo Sum
  7. What it feels like to be addicted | The Magic Black Book
  8. ლCaFF-Eine BuzZzZzლ | mët•aRVhëë•n✪ia
  9. I’m A Daily Promptaholic | The Jittery Goat
  10. buttered | yi-ching lin photography
  11. Daily Prompt: Can’t Get Enough
  12. Addiction? Oh yeah « RPMAS
  13. Celebrate Good Times. | gypsy thoughts ..
  14. Daily Prompt: Can’t Get Enough #photography | ThisCornerOfTheWoods
  15. I do hope there’s a rehab for singleness | JC Bride ~
  16. On Facing Harsh Realities | The Magic Black Book
  17. My Toy Box | Kate Murray
  18. Only ever so slightly addictive me | thoughtsofrkh
  19. Addicted to ‘love’ | alienorajt
  20. Daily Post: “Can’t Get Enough” | The Adventures of Rain Dance Megan
  21. Can’t Get Enough | The River Mom
  22. of course i’m an addict | wannabepoet
  23. Add diction – A very short post | Neva Samaki
  24. Big Girl Now But Still Hungry | Virginia Views
  25. Can’t Get Enough | Motherhood and Beyond
  26. Alas, stopped daydreaming | crookedeyebrows
  27. Daily Prompt: Can’t Get Enough | Wordz on a Page
  28. My Coffee Addiction-Peet’s is Poo | Mac’s Blog
  29. Daily Prompt: Can’t Get Enough « Mama Bear Musings
  30. Addiction… | Life as a country bumpkin…not a city girl
  31. Daily Prompt: Can’t Get Enough | Love.Light.Life.
  32. Devotion on the Web | Kansa Muse on Micro Farming and More
  33. The Beauty of Autumn (Addicting) | photo potpourri
  34. Daily Prompt: Can’t Get Enough | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss
  35. PROJECT R – Continued | vicbriggs’s blog
  36. WIZARD BATTLES and the longest post I’ve ever made! | I’m just Super Saiyan
  37. Things I can’t get enough of… | Processing the life
  38. SAFE DRINKING RULES | Emotional Fitness
  39. Surfer Rob’s outlook on addiction | Rob’s Surf Report
  40. ✗• smoke 2 joints •✗ | The RunningFather Blog
  41. The Withdraw: Daily Writing Prompt | Finicky Philly
  42. I’m done- it’s about me now | tornin2’s Blog
  43. I had my cat | Life is great
  44. The Year Of The Cat | Just Visiting This Planet
  45. Obsession | A Wandering Writer
  46. My Strange Addiction | A String of Pearls
  47. You’re my obsession – CombatBabe
  48. Addicted… | Haiku By Ku
  49. Up to my knees in.. | Take your Chances; Make it Happen
  50. Addiction? I Have No Addiction! | Stuphblog
  51. Daily Prompt; Can’t Get Enough | terry1954
  52. Addicting | Shine Bright
  53. The Lost World | Flowers and Breezes
  54. “Can’t Get Enough” | Relax
  55. More! | The Silver Leaf Journal
  56. DARKER SIDE OF NIGHT by HastyWords | hastywords
  57. Addiction | Life Confusions
  58. Spellbound and Loving It | Daily Observations
  59. Can’t Get Enough Pepper | Crow Arrow, Inc.
  60. The Life of a Spoon Dealer – By: NCBEK | Incessant Ramblings
  61. One Starving Activist