Ten years ago I married a man whom I hardly knew. The match was arranged by our families and I gave my consent after a brief meeting with him in the presence of all our family members.
After the engagement he would come to visit me at home as I had not agreed to talk on the phone. I felt that unreserved phone conversations could lead to misunderstanding between two people who hardly knew each other. After all we had all our lives to get to know each other.
It may sound bizarre that two very educated people in this day and age agreed to get married without knowing each other. But ten years down the road we have found love and respect for each other, the ability to be comfortable with each other and let each other be comfortable in our own spaces. We have been together in sickness and in health. We trust each other and look after each other. We are independent people and yet we depend on each other. We may not hold hands in public but we share an intense attraction for each other.
We have got on each other’s nerves and got into arguments but I never remember having stopped talking to each other. There have been bad times too but we never gave up on each other. We just worked things out.
We both have a fondness for travel and discovering new places. Together we have seen 8 countries from the Far East to Europe to the United States. Not only were we learning about new cultures and people but also little by little of each other. It has been an exciting journey.
Yesterday we had gone out at night because my husband wanted to buy a screen protector for his new phone. It was out of stock and we decided to go home but stop for coffee on the way back. As we reached near the coffee place my husband asked me if I was up for it and I told him I was too tired and that we should just head home. We had stopped on the red light when a car apparently out of control crashed through the divider and towards us. It stopped just in front of us. The driver and the passenger were unhurt but if we had decided to go to the coffee place we would have been in the left most lane and surely would have been hit.
It was a scary experience and when I saw that car coming towards us I called out to my husband. That was my first reaction. After a while we both realized how close we had come to being hurt badly. We could have been in the hospital on our anniversary.
Instead, by the Grace of God we will celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary tomorrow night with our amazing son and close family next to the beautiful Dubai fountains.
A journey of ten years,
Around the world and with each other,
Are marriages made in heaven?
Yes maybe. For beyond us it is rather,
The factors that come into play
That bring two people together.
But then it’s up to us two
To make things work face to face
Never giving up on each other,
And forever praying for God’s grace.
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I am so happy for you and your husband celebrating your tenth anniversary. We celebrated our 44th anniversay this year, but it does not matter where or how we both married, the main thing is that we can both look back on years of happiness and have shared everything with each other. Our backgrounds and life may be different but we have both found our happiness and it is truly such incidents that make us realise treasuring the moments we have together. I lived two years with a moslem family (he was Pakistani, she was Swiss) , two wonderful years. I wish you many more years of happiness with your husband.
44 years! Wow! You must have really married young! Thank you so much for the best wishes. The advantage of an arranged marriage is that the backgrounds are usually similar which makes it easy to adjust with the new family. We also rely a lot on prayers 🙂
Lovely! So happy you weren’t hurt. Congratulations on your ten year anniversary.
Thank you so much!
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I’ve never heard directly from someone who is in an arranged marriage. I have heard about it, but it was extremely enlightening to hear from you directly. Given the extremely high failure rate of marriage in general, it seems to me an arranged marriage would be as — or more — likely to work out. Congratulations on ten years and may you enjoy many more.
Thank you. It’s really very common in my culture. And yes the divorce rate is not as high as in the West. It actually works out 🙂
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Enjoy your celebrations! The Dubai Fountains sound bliss. 😀
They are! Thank you.
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What a beautiful love story. It’s fascinating that two people who don’t know each other well, can step into a lifetime commitment and find love along the way. Love takes time to grow, whether the relationship is arranged by you or by someone else. It’s wonderful that your love for each other has grown into something so deep. Also, I’m so glad that God protected you!
Thank you for taking time to read our story. We have survived more than 4 years of long distance work assignments (2 years in Pakistan and 2 years in the Middle East when my husband was posted in another city/country where I did not move with him and he would commute on weekends) and now finally we are moving together to Bahrain. So exciting!