No regrets

February 11, 2014

By znjavid

I sometimes wonder what would have happened if my father had allowed me to go to live in a hostel and study architecture.

Math was my favorite subject and I was also fond of drawing (though not very good) and when I finished school I thought architecture would be the ideal career for me. But the only college was in another city and that meant I would have to live in a hostel. My father thought I was too young to be living on my own and he refused to let me go.

I was not a rebel and I just agreed with his decision. I went to a local college, took Pre-engineering and ended up doing Masters in Electronics from a local University.

What if I had been more persistent and convinced my father to send me to the college to study architecture? Would it have made a difference to my life?

I think I would have struggled more. Maybe I could have set up my own company after graduating like I know some people did. And then I would have got married and had children. Would I have given up my career that easily? Or would I have gone back to work after a couple of years?

Somehow I still think I would have ended up at the same point in my life as I am at now. Except that instead of saying I had a career in Telecom I would have called myself an architect. It really wouldn’t have made much of a difference.

I can safely say that I’m glad that things turned out the way they did and I have no regrets. I’m also glad that I don’t have the choice to change decisions in real life because I’d be terrified to do it and not know where I’d end up.

There’s a prayer we say before taking big decisions and it’s something like this: “Dear God, please make things which are good for me easy to happen and the things which are bad for me, remove from my path and make me content with whatever happens.” And so I believe that all decisions that were taken and all things that happened were in some way (apparent or not so obvious) good for me. Thus there are no regrets and no need for iterations.

Daily Prompt: I Did it My Way

Not so sweet sixteen

January 20, 2014

By znjavid

Why on earth do they call it sweet 16? I remember when I was that age I was extremely awkward and under confident. It was not till I was in my 20s that I had become more confident about my appearance and about what I wanted to do in life.

When I turned 16 I had just completed my O’Level exams and had summer holidays prior to starting college. This was the time when I had to decide what subjects to take and since I had done Science and Math in school it was a choice between Pre-Engineering and Pre-Medical.

I remember that whereas my parents had left it to me to decide, my elder brother and sister who were both studying to be doctors had strong opinions on what I should do. My brother was in favor of me following his footsteps and my sister was not. This was very confusing for me since they both had solid points in favor and against becoming a doctor. My brother thought that girls who became doctors had a good career ahead of them as there were plenty of job opportunities. Becoming anything else would just be a waste of time as there were not enough jobs in other fields for girls. My sister on the other hand felt that the studies were too difficult for someone not really interested in the subject. I always had an inclination towards Math.

So in the end I decided to take Pre-Engineering. I never became an Engineer (that’s another story); instead I did my MSc in Electronics and worked in a Telecom company. I’m glad that I did what I did because if I had become a doctor (and I seriously doubt if I could have maintained my sanity in 5 years of medical college) I might have never had a successful career, made lots of money and traveled the world. My sister as a doctor never got the opportunities I did and I am really grateful to her for pointing me in the right direction.

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Daily Prompt: Sweet Sixteen

A Journey of Ten Years

October 17, 2013

By znjavid

Ten years ago I married a man whom I hardly knew. The match was arranged by our families and I gave my consent after a brief meeting with him in the presence of all our family members.

After the engagement he would come to visit me at home as I had not agreed to talk on the phone. I felt that unreserved phone conversations could lead to misunderstanding between two people who hardly knew each other. After all we had all our lives to get to know each other.

It may sound bizarre that two very educated people in this day and age agreed to get married without knowing each other. But ten years down the road we have found love and respect for each other, the ability to be comfortable with each other and let each other be comfortable in our own spaces. We have been together in sickness and in health. We trust each other and look after each other. We are independent people and yet we depend on each other. We may not hold hands in public but we share an intense attraction for each other.

We have got on each other’s nerves and got into arguments but I never remember having stopped talking to each other. There have been bad times too but we never gave up on each other. We just worked things out.

We both have a fondness for travel and discovering new places. Together we have seen 8 countries from the Far East to Europe to the United States. Not only were we learning about new cultures and people but also little by little of each other. It has been an exciting journey.

Yesterday we had gone out at night because my husband wanted to buy a screen protector for his new phone. It was out of stock and we decided to go home but stop for coffee on the way back. As we reached near the coffee place my husband asked me if I was up for it and I told him I was too tired and that we should just head home. We had stopped on the red light when a car apparently out of control crashed through the divider and towards us. It stopped just in front of us. The driver and the passenger were unhurt but if we had decided to go to the coffee place we would have been in the left most lane and surely would have been hit.

It was a scary experience and when I saw that car coming towards us I called out to my husband. That was my first reaction. After a while we both realized how close we had come to being hurt badly. We could have been in the hospital on our anniversary.

Instead, by the Grace of God we will celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary tomorrow night with our amazing son and close family next to the beautiful Dubai fountains.

A journey of ten years,

Around the world and with each other,

Are marriages made in heaven?

Yes maybe. For beyond us it is rather,

The factors that come into play

That bring two people together.

But then it’s up to us two

To make things work face to face

Never giving up on each other,

And forever praying for God’s grace.

Weekly Writing Challenge: My Funny Valentine?

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Tag Archives: life experiences

No regrets

Not so sweet sixteen

A Journey of Ten Years

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