The three brothers played hide and seek while their mother cooked for the guests. The littlest one hid in the car which had been mistakenly left unlocked after a grocery run. The elder two tired of looking for their brother and were soon engrossed elsewhere.
Nobody noticed the little boy locked in the car out in the sun for nearly an hour. He died clutching his Spiderman tightly in his hands.
A year after the tragedy, the family was blessed with a baby girl. “Is she an angel?” asked her older brothers when they saw her. “Yes”, replied their mother, “For me she is.”
This is a true story so I would request that comments be directed to the writing style, rather than on whom the blame should lie for the tragedy. Thank you.
For more details about the Friday Fictioneers see the link below:
http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2014/04/16/18-april-2014/
What a shocking and tragic tale. I like how you often seem to base your stories on true stories, and I appreciate your request.
I was a bit confused how the boy got into the car (unlocked) but then was locked in. I’m not saying it couldn’t happen (We often lock the car from inside the house after bringing in the shopping, for example), but I think I’d have liked that explained in the story.
You could have chosen a more subtle way of telling us the boy died, by leaving out the explicit line, but I liked the bit about spiderman, because it made it more real.
I, too, wondered how the car got locked AFTER the little boy was inside. Glad they got their angel, though. Nicely done.
Unfortunately these kinds of accidents happen more frequently than we know. How sad for the family for their loss, how wonderful for the family for their new blessing. Great writing!
Just tragic.
This is a tragic story, Zainab. The image of the little boy clutching spiderman is heartbreaking.
Yes it is too sad from a mother’s perspective, almost too much for anyone to bear. But the mother survived and went on to have new life. I see her now happy with her two boys and a little daughter.
How sad, Zainab. Did he accidentally lock the car once he got in?
janet
Hi Janet, I think he got into an open door, closed it and couldn’t open it again from inside because it had a child lock.
It surely is unfortunate at any yardstick – but couldn’t stop marveling at how life gives us a second chance.. glad they had their angel !
Yes I’m glad you picked the positive in the story. Thanks so much for reading.
while you picked a sad topic, I think you did a masterful job at writing so many parts of a story. It was dense, yet flowed soooo free. nice job.
Thank you so much!
What an awful tragedy that can happen all too easily. You did really well to get it all into 100 words and finish on an uplifting note
Thank you for reading and for your comment.
Dear Zainab,
I write with tears. This is every mother’s nightmare and it’s happened more than once. Told with heart and pathos. You have a mother’s heart, my dear.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Dear Rochelle, I look at the mother and think that how did she survive? And then I look at her daughter and I begin to understand. God gives us the strength to endure far above our perception.
This is a heartrending story, a parents’ nightmare come true. It was indeed a blessing that she gave birth to a daughter afterwards. This was well written.
Thank you for reading and commenting.
Lovely. Thank you for sharing a difficult journey with a happier ending.
Thank you so much for reading!
it’s unfortunate that accidents like this happen no matter how watchful the elders are.
Yes it’s very unfortunate, but still life goes on. Thank you for reading.
Such a difficult to retell story particularly when it’s true but sensitively told. These things happen and the result is a difference between tragedy or an anecdote for the future . We can laugh now but I must have been seven when I got into a Jeep and got it rolling down the slope, but thanks to the quick thinking driver an accident was averted.
Yes, if we start thinking of all the possibilities that could happen, we’d go crazy. I’m glad you survived that near accident. 🙂
A far more common tragedy then people realize. No doubt her newest one would be an angel. Beautifully written.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting.