“I don’t have any change. I’ll get it from the shops downstairs.”
The man took the 1000 rupee note and looked around the apartment, his eyes settling on Shanti playing with her dolls.
“Shanti go with him.”
As the two entered the elevator, the man pressed 15, the topmost floor in the building. Shanti sensed something was wrong and she was just about to say something when the man placed his hand over her mouth. The next few minutes of terror shattered her life forever.
When Shanti came back trembling and bruised, her mother knew she had made the biggest mistake of her life.
This story has been written for the Friday Fictioneers and is based on a news item I read recently. For more details about the challenge see the link below.
http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2014/03/19/21-march-2014/
Oh, sad, sad story.
Well told in so few words
What is even more sad is that it actually happened.
Dear Zainab,
A mother’s nightmare. Makes me wonder why she made Shanti go in the first place. Nice one.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Yes, Rochelle a decision she will regret for the rest of her life.
Powerful story Zainab, well told and you capture the sadness so well…
Thank you. A sad story to tell.
Very sad but well-written story. All the more terrible because of the things we read in the newspapers these days.
Yes it was something I read a few days ago and when I saw the photo and read Rochelle’s story I was reminded of it.
God! This is really scary… though a reality, sadly 😦
Yes a sad reality.
Thanks for reading.
Yeah – reality well captured in those few words !
Thanks for the visit. A sad reality.
Poor little girl. Her mother will curse herself for the rest of her life for not anticipating what a demon that man actually was…
Yes, but if I had a daughter I would never let her out of my sight.
That would be wise in times like these..
Oh, that’s heartbreaking. I guess that wasn’t a man they knew well. Poor girl.
No, it was someone who came to their apartment for repairs.
So sad! Feeling a bit disturbed now, hoping there is a revenge story in the future!
Sorry about that, but if it makes you feel better, that man was caught and is in jail.
Wow, definitely a mother’s nightmare but why on earth would she let the girl go with a stranger in the first place? Not your usual type of story but done well.
janet
I deleted it twice before I actually published it. I know I don’t write this type of story, but it stayed with me when I read it in the paper.
It’s always good to try new writing and story styles and you did it well.
Thank you for the vote of confidence.
Wow! That’s almost too real – every mother’s WORST nightmare! I’m just glad Shanti survived it!
She survived it but will she be OK?
Wow. Powerful, sorrowful all to truthful Story. Well told.
Thank you for the visit.
Well done in a few words. I am very, very angry and glad the story was told.
Yes I just feel really sad about it.
that’s heartbreaking. well written
Thanks for reading.
Powerfully heart-breaking, Zainab.
I found it very difficult to write this. I almost didn’t.
A terrible nightmare of a story, leaving many unanswered questions about the man and the money. I see some of the answers from the comments. Would have been nice to get some more into the story itself – perhaps by weighing a bit less detail into the first section. Having said that, that’s the section where the writing is strongest.
100 words are so few. I tried to concentrate on what happened and left the background open.
Chilling, especially as it is based on fact
Yes it’s a nightmare.
Too bad she ask the daughter to go with him. So very sad but well told! Nan
Thanks for the visit.
I knew this one. deeply traumatic
It’s so sad.
If I’m allowed to say so … the obedience of women, ingrained into us for thousands of years … too few outgrew it or were able to rise above it, or educate themselves out of it. Terrible. Good that you wrote, it raises awareness and will make more mothers and hopefully fathers more careful who they send their children out to, or who they invite inside for that matter.
That is very true. I’ve seen mothers send off their young daughters to run errands like these not thinking what the consequences could be.
Have myself seen it. We live in terrible times, but then, when has it been different for women and young children, girls and boys alike? Were there ever a time that women and children were safe?
Horrifying. How quickly you turned innocent into violated. I really enjoyed it.
Thank you for the visit.
Well told story, Zainab.That’s a mother’s worst nightmare.
Yes I can’t begin to imagine the responsibility one must feel as the parent of a girl.
Bad parenting, to say the least. But great story-telling.
Yes you’re right. How could she send her daughter off with a stranger?
How terrible. Your writing is lovely, though. You have a knack for creating instantly sympathetic characters.
Thank you for the compliment.
Wow! This is terrifying and terrifyingly well written. Thanks for sharing,
All my best,
Marie Gail
Thank you Marie. It was terrifying to write it too.
Just horrible!
I know!
A sensitive treatment of a terrible experience.
Regards
Jim
Thank you for reading.
So sad and terrifying.
Yes 😦
horrible story! Very well written, but horrible in that it was upsetting and unnerving! Well done.
That’s how life is sometimes. Thanks for the visit.
Just noticed above that it was based on real life too. So very, very sad. That poor girls life ruined so easily by such a monster.
Yes they said she was trembling when she identified the man who did that to her.
Hey Znjavid,
I know the inspiration behind this story. We here such story so often in India, don’t we? Saddening.
You captured the horror in an apt way.
Mousume
Yes, but this happened in Dubai! I read it in the papers. Really sad and scary.