How Do I Get My Son To Go To School

If you want to meet stubborn, meet my son. He’s 4 years old and once he’s made up his mind about something there’s no way he’s going to budge.

He has lately decided that he doesn’t want to go to school. I have tried every way to make him change his mind but it hasn’t worked. I have given him incentives like the promise of a prize if he goes. I have threatened him with punishments of taking away his toys, that did make him go one day but the next day he was back to usual. . I have tried to get him as bored as possible if he misses a day to show him how staying at home is not fun. He keeps following me around as he hates being on his own and loves company. But that is also difficult for me as I have started doing some freelance work and I was counting on having the mornings to myself.

Once I do manage to get him to school, he settles down quickly and doesn’t have any problems for the rest of the day. He interacts with his classmates and does all the activities as instructed. He even has his lunch well. He comes home and tells me he has had fun but the next morning he is refusing again. He doesn’t mind getting up early and we are generally not even rushed as his school is just nearby.

I have asked him many times if he has a problem in school or if someone said something to him but he hasn’t told me anything of significance. Neither has he told his teacher anything. Today I even asked his older cousin, my nephew who is a very sensible boy to talk to him and ask him if he has any problem in school. He talked to him but couldn’t ascertain any problem that he might be facing. He likes to talk a lot and if he had a problem I think he would have confided in someone. I can only come to the conclusion that he has no issues with school itself.

Yet he continues to show his stubbornness and refuse to go to school. Today his dad came along too and it took so long to get him inside that he got late going to office. I am at my wit’s end and in desperation I have decided to seek professional help. I have booked an appointment with a clinical psychologist in the hope that she might give us some good advice.

Till then I have to keep trying to get him to school because if gets into the routine of not going it will get even more difficult to make him go. I have nightmares of my only child becoming a dropout. I can only hope that when he grows up we will just be laughing about this – the time when he nearly dropped out of nursery.

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27 thoughts on “How Do I Get My Son To Go To School

  1. I was like that myself in preschool. I didn’t want to go but my mum got me there somehow.But when she picked me up, I didn’t want to leave 😀 Don’t worry about your son.It’s just a phase he’s going through.

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  10. Your son is just attached to you and likes to spend the day with you. It’s quite common for kids that feel comfortable at home and like being with their parents to not like going to school, specially at this age. He might find you more warm and genuine as opposed to this teachers. His not liking school is not a reflection on how successful he will be in future, it’s more of a reflection of him enjoying your company.

    My advice is to just enjoy this time. When he enters his teens, you would be wondering how to make him spend more time with you 🙂 You might also consider homeschooling if your son has easily followed instructions in the past and has enjoyed reading, writing or coloring. You could have your desks side by side and both do your thing.



    PS. I discovered your blog through my mom’s blog, “Flowers and Breezes”.

    • Hey there, I’ve read about you in your mom’s post. Nice to meet you. Thank you for your comment. I don’t think I could home school him at all. I tried to start the quran with him but he wouldn’t sit at all. The only place he sits well and works with concentration is at school and I would hate to pull him out of there. I just have to show resilience and keep taking him until he realizes that this is something he just has to do.

  11. My mom said, “Who said you had a choice?” But as she didn’t drive, I kind of DID have a choice. Then came the blackmail, “Mrs. X has gone out of her way to take you to school. You’re going.” Here came Mrs. X to the front door. Child X was in the car waiting, loose in the back seat because kid’s in the 1950’s were very tough and heavy and didn’t fly around like kids do to day if they’re not strapped down. When it was my brother’s turn, the school soon asked my mother NOT to bring him. He bit. 😀 I think your little boy will get past this. It’s scary to make that transition from dependent little person to independent kid.

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  15. Hi, I think your son is just too immature for school just now and forcing him to attend when he is not ready could cause him e reversible harm why should he go at 4? why not wait until he turns 5 or even 6, there is a very good reason why the law changed and legally he is not required to attend school until he turns 6 as a teacher we see this all the time and when another year has passed you will see a different more confident child.

    • Hi, Thank you for taking the time to comment.
      In Pakistan (my homeland) and the UAE (my current residence) we start school at 3. I did too and none the worse for it. I understand what you’re saying but if I don’t put him in school he will lag behind his peers and not be able to get into school later because of that. He has been going for a year already, in which he was fine, this is his second year now.

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  17. I had similar problems with my 9 year old I had to drag him there.
    He told me nothing was wrong for a week or so then eventually said some boys were bullying him.
    I took him out of school as they wouldn’t sort it and he’s now happy in a new one.
    Sometimes they are scared of upsetting you and hold it all in. I hope you get him to school ok soon x

  18. Sorry I thought he was here in Australia,my mistake. We don’t send our children until age 4 and 9 months and most begin at 6 now. But just hang in there and keep rewarding good and ignoring bad that’s the motto eventually he will give in and play it your way. Good luck.

    • Thank you. He is getting better and he only missed one day last week. Today after the weekend (we have Fri/Sat off) he was crying again but as soon as he saw the teacher he went nicely with her.

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