When I lost my father to cancer, a sense of relief accompanied the immense sadness at the loss. He had suffered so much we were relieved to finally see him at peace.
What did we do next? What can one do except go through the motions? Receive your relatives and friends and relive those horrible last days again and again. They come to comfort you but can’t you just be left alone to grieve? I would have rather spent that time with my mother and brother and sister than with people who came to condole and some of them hardly even knew my father.
I remember the house was full of people. I had spent the last 5 days in the ICU with my father, sleeping in the car parked outside the ICU and I was just tired of being tired and sad. I didn’t want to cry anymore. Maybe those people thought it was strange that I was so composed. But how could they understand?
When the burial was over and all the people left we were alone to face our grief. But life goes on. I went back to work, my brother went back to the US where he lived at that time, my sister continued to work as a doctor in a local hospital. My mother was now in charge of running the house on her own but it was something she had been doing since my father had taken ill.
We continued with our lives but that pain never really goes away. The day my father died he took something with him that can never be replaced. But yes, life goes on.
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I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is extremely difficult. My step-father of 23 years passed away suddenly in March. Life does go on, but sometimes it feels as though it’s at a standstill, as I’m waiting to wake up from this dream. But, it’s not a dream, which is almost an impossible thing to wrap my head around. I feel your pain and I’m sorry.
Thank you so much for your kind comment. It’s been many years now but I still feel the pain especially when I think that my child never got to meet him.
Yes, I imagine that is painful. We always want our children to know and be close to their grandparents and our parents to them. It’s hard to be without them.
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I too lost my father. It is not an easy thing to deal with, sometimes I just don’t. Sometimes I just miss him. But you’re right, life must go on.
Yes I just feel sad sometimes that my son never got to meet his grandfather.
It’s kind of a constant sadness with every milestone in life that they miss out on.
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