The other day my mother who has been staying with me for the last 4 months told me that she won’t be able to visit again as she has become too old.
On this visit it’s the first time I felt that my mother really has started looking old and it scares me a bit. How many years has she left with us I wonder? Don’t get me wrong, her health is excellent and apart from some pains and aches she doesn’t have any problems. But when one keeps losing relatives of her age or younger, one can’t help but wonder.
My mother had her children after 16 years of marriage. I think we have kept her young. Nobody could tell the age difference of almost a generation gap between us. She used to keep herself busy, cooking and painting and meeting her friends. But after my father died she stopped doing all these things. She even stopped wearing bangles and it looked strange to see her empty wrists.
And somewhere along the way negativity crept into her life. I have noticed that a lot. If I talk to her about some new project of mine, she always points out the negative factors rather than encourage me to go ahead with it.
Will a pep talk help her? I don’t think so. What really does help her is to involve her in everything I do. My writing, my book readings, my art projects. Creativity dampens negativity. I really believe that.
And so I have started a new project with her. I let her talk about old times from her childhood, her marriage, being an army wife and a mother and I write it all down. When we have enough I’ll compile it and it will be something that her grandchildren who never got to meet their grandfather can read. I have noticed that when she talks about those golden days of her life her eyes light up and her voice is full of enthusiasm. I find no negativity there.
This is my pep talk for her. She talks and I write.
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