Conversation between me and a typical Dubai Aunty (socialite) on a coffee morning:
Aunty: So how are you? Aren’t you glad the schools have opened? Sooo difficult to entertain the children. I had them bundled off to summer camp. Sooo convenient!
Me: But don’t you think the children also deserve a break and it’s good to spend that time with family?
Aunty: Yes, yes I did all that bonding shonding in Switzerland. We were there for a month. Sooo beautiful and the weather was just heavenly. I didn’t want to come back. But you know it gets so expensive with the maid and all..
Me: So your maid went with you?
Aunty: Of course darrrling! Who will look after the kids otherwise?
Me: Uhh right…
Aunty: Yes it was magical. And then we had our anniversary there as well. And Ahmed got me the most gorrrgeous gift (flashing the biggest diamond solitaire in my face)
Me: I see well…umm.. congratulations (feeling a bit sick)
Aunty: But then you know when we came back we had suchhh a difficult time. The maid got sick, and we didn’t know what to do. Sooo difficult.
Me: Uh huh..
Aunty: But now the children are at school and I can meet with all of you darrrlings..
Me: (feeling sicker and wondering what on earth I’m doing there)
Aunty: So tell me what is the latest..
Me: (thinking finally the conversation is going to take a different turn..)
Aunty: …I’ve heard there’s a sale to die for in Harvey Nichols. I’ve seen the most gorrrgeous Gucci bag and I’ve been dropping hints to Ahmed. You see my birthday is coming up.
Me: (aaaah!!) Um.. I don’t know, I’ve been busy preparing for my book reading…
Aunty: Oh so sweet!! What’s that? (looking bewildered)
Me: I’ve written these books for children and..
Aunty: Oh my children don’t like to read books. Ahmed has bought them an iPad each and they are sooo good at playing games on them. Even I don’t know how to do it.
Me: Yeah.. great.. well I have to go now.. (leaves with a throbbing headache)
This post has been written in response to the Daily Prompt: Snark Bombs Away!
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